Thursday, September 6, 2007
Is This Your Pity Party?
Are you familiar with the song that says, “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to”?
It is definitely one of the classic oldies. However, I think this line in the song shines light on why some people never live to their full potential.
Have you ever thrown yourself a pity party? I’m not proud to say it, but I have.
Even worse, do you know anyone (maybe even you) who doesn’t just throw a pity party but lives in one every day?
Self-pity is one of the worst ways to totally destroy your potential in life.
The other day I was watching a program about a group of guys who were left paralyzed following an accident. Before the accident, they were normal, everyday people like you and me.
A few of them talked about how difficult it was following the accident. They said that at the beginning they didn’t think they would ever be able to live again. At some point, each of them had to make a decision whether or not to live life in despair and self pity or to rise above it and live life to its fullest.
They had all made the choice to rise above it. All of these guys were on a wheelchair rugby team from the UK. Not only that, they were the UK champions. Several of these guys have also competed in the Olympics.
One of the interviewers made a comment about how none of them had any self pity at all.
This made me begin to think about how damaging self pity is. These boys could still be sitting in the same place today. But instead, they decided to rise above it and create a new life. And they didn’t want to create just any old life, but a great life!
We all go through things that paralyze us in one way or another. You may even feel that you have the right to feel sorry for yourself. But just because you may have the right, doesn’t mean that it’s the right choice.
You have the choice to become either a success story or a forgotten story.
I realize that the pain or hurt of tragedy may not disappear overnight. Some things do take time to heal. BUT, your choice to be a victim or a success can change today.
Here are 3 ways to overcome self-pity.
1. Get around people who will show you some tough love.
This doesn’t mean that you get around people who don’t care about how you feel. But the last thing you need (even though you think you might) is to be around people who will sob away with you about how hard life is and how it couldn’t get any worse. Instead, get around people who will show you compassion but who will, when you start to cross that line into feeling sorry for yourself, make it very clear that it is unacceptable behaviour if you want to achieve greatness.
2. Force yourself to look to tomorrow.
Depending on what you have gone through, I know tomorrow may seem VERY far away. But you have to remember, there IS a tomorrow. You have purpose and greatness inside of you. But again, you choose whether you are going to live life to its fullest.
3. Look for inspiration.
Whatever you are going through, someone else has gone through it and they actually came out successfully on the other side. Find out who these people are. Find their books, interviews, articles, or audio series and learn from them. If they were able to succeed through it all, so can you!
Practice all three of these steps if you need to. But don’t let self-pity stop you from becoming someone great.
The next time you invite yourself to a pity party – just decline.
To get your free 7 part e-course, subscribe at www.findyourgreatness.com.
Jason and Rebecca Osborn have dedicated themselves to changing thousands of lives by helping people find their greatness and true potential through their Find Your Greatness Newsletter.
Success - How To Overcome The Naysayer’s
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once said, “We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.”
Sometimes the closest people to you are the ones that stop you form achieving greatness in your life. You go to them, full of excitement, to tell them all the great things that you want to do in life. Instead of hearing the support and encouragement from your friends and family, you hear words of doubt and fear.
They may not be saying these things to purposely hurt or discourage you, but they don’t want you to fail or get hurt. So, to stop you from getting hurt down the road they try to stop you at the beginning.
Still, others may try to tell you why it can’t be done and how there are many obstacles in the way that can’t be moved. They look at who you are currently and don’t see the greatness that’s hidden on the inside.
Don’t let these people stop you from reaching your greatness. Here are 4 ways to overcome the naysayer’s.
1. Protect Your Dream.
Whenever you have a burning desire to do something great in life, it’s very hard to not tell everyone you know. You just assume that everyone will be just as excited about it as you are. Minimize the amount of naysayer’s in your life by not telling everyone. You will probably still have people who are negative, but a few naysayers’ are better than a ton of them.
2. Surround Yourself With Greatness.
If you want to do great things in life you need to be around others that have done great things. I’m sure you have heard the saying ‘Success breeds success’. If you are always around people who have never accomplished anything, and never want to accomplish anything great, it will be hard for you to do it yourself. Successful people will help you understand how to overcome the obstacles that you will face. Which leads me to the next point.
3. Get A Coach Or A Mentor.
If a professional sports team wants to be the best, they hire a coach to help get them there. If they don’t have a coach that can encourage them, train them, guide them, and give them a good kick in the backside when needed, they will never become a great team. Find someone that has done something similar to what you want to do and have them mentor you. Keep this in mind, they are probably very busy and may not have any interest in coaching or training anyone. Don’t let that stop you. If they can’t or won’t, keep looking until you find someone who will. Also, bring something to the table for them as well. You need to give to get.
4. Your Past Doesn’t Dictate Your Future.
You may not have a successful life but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a successful future. Naysayer’s will always try to remind you of your past failures or inadequacies. Keep improving yourself and keep growing. Learn from your past but don’t let it stop you from having a great future. If there is something that you need to change in your life in order to achieve success, then change it. You are the deciding factor on how great your life is going to be. DON’T let your past dictate your future.
If you want to do something great with your life, there will always be someone there to tell you that it can’t be done. Practice these four keys and you will be able to overcome the naysayer’s.
To get your free 7 part e-course, subscribe at www.findyourgreatness.com.
Jason and Rebecca Osborn have dedicated themselves to changing thousands of lives by helping people find their greatness and true potential through their Find Your Greatness Newsletter.
